Karen L. Kehler, MA,  MSHA - Private- Professional- Affordable Counseling Services
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Kehler Counseling Blog

Do Something Visible!

It sounds almost too simple. 
What do I mean by that?   Today I want you to do just one thing that others can SEE.  I find that when a person is really troubled, worried, scared, depressed or even angry they are stuck in their head.   We are all our own worst enemy.  Maybe not everyone -but in my worst of days - they lasted because I was too busy ruminating, obsessing, analysizing, evaluating or comparing in my own head what I did or didn't do,   Albert Ellis, a  famous Psychotherapist would call it 'must-erbating' or 'should-ing' all over yourself.  
Instead of massaging your laundry list of faults, imperfections or failures - do something someone ELSE will SEE. 
Take a few minutes  - not even an hour - you can take as long as you want - but try it.  I want you to move, rearrange, clean, pick up, put away, fold, wash or remove something you SEE.  Best of all I want other people to see it.   Make your bed, straighten a counter or table, remove a tossed item, put away something that has been laying around.  Sweep or vacuum.   The more noticeable the better. 
Put on the better shirt, pants, add an accessory - take that one minute extra to finish off your appearance.  Take extra time for your hair.  Add jewelry.  Wear heels instead of flats. 
Stop at a carwash.  Vacuum out your car.  Vacuum out his/her car.  Mow a lawn, add flowers, decorate for a holiday.   Send a card. 
Now go about your day.  Pay attention to others - say that comment and compliment out loud - don't rehearse it in your head.  Let them hear it.  Say positive things to people - stop thinking about what they may be thinking about you and start with a visible smile,   Smiles say 'I'm approachable.' 
If I'm right - you will receive FEEDBACK.  That's what we call it in 'psycho-babble land' but what is feels like is acknowledgement, encouragement, appreciation, compliments - the words we're usually not giving enough to ourselves!  The words that our loved ones may not realize they don't say.  The words that we can often need as much as oxygen to get through these days of depression, anxiety and stress.    Nothing feels better than hearing a simple compliment, word of support or a shared "I like" with someone. But what I find is that when we're busy 'doing' anxiety, depression and low self-esteem - we shut out or off the possibility of it happening!
Just review your last 'depression day' - I bet you didn't get regular clothes on - PJ's worked, flannel for comfort, or you might have put a little effort into sweats but you skipped any details including shaving, jewelry or hair arrangement.  You probably stayed in -on the couch - and the day was probably divided by snacks- TV-bathroom- snacks- TV- maybe reading or Internet - snacks and more media. . . I bet you didn't even talk to a person in person!  Well maybe the people in your house but staying IN meant you didn't even go out into the 'big world' to get a single word of encouragement, support or a compliment!   No wonder you're miserable and depressed!  
Karen Kehler
So do something VISIBLE - start simple - get out of your head - you did enough 'work' in it!  Now move, rearrange, add, remove, clean, wash, put on or take off (pounds count too!!). 
Enjoy the positive feedback you deserve!
Karen L Kehler

2 Comments to Do Something Visible!:

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jemmy on Saturday, April 28, 2018 8:19 AM
good post
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DouglasJackson on Saturday, April 28, 2018 8:20 AM
informing post
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