Karen L. Kehler, MA,  MSHA - Private- Professional- Affordable Counseling Services
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NETFLIX - Marie Kondo's "Tidying Up" Series
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Kehler Counseling Blog

Grieving Help

When to Seek Help from a Professional

 You should get evaluated by a professional if you've hadfive or more of the following symptoms for more than two weeks or if any of these symptoms cause such a big change that you can't keep up your usual routine.....
When You're Depressed...
  • You feel sad or cry a lot and it doesn't go away.
  • You feel guilty for no reason; you feel like you're no good; you've lost your confidence.
  • Life seems meaningless or like nothing good is ever going to happen again. You have a negative attitude a lot of the time, or it seems like you have no feelings.

Do You Have Trouble Asking For Help?

Do you have trouble asking for help?

Do you perceive asking for help as a sign of weakness?

Do you know how to get help when you can't sleep, haven't slept, seem to cry 'all the time', feel emotionally fragile or vulnerable to the slightest statements, even those not directed to you directly?  

Have you 'copped an attitude'? - that is either expressed in reactive anger at just about anything or apathetic or not caring about people, work or things you used to?

Are you feeling physically anxious

How to Get Heroin Out of Your Community

Is your home, neighborhood, town, borough, county or state dealing with the surge or epidemic of heroin addiction?  
I doubt your answer is 'no'. 
We're all seeing it, hearing about it, experiencing it or have dealt with the collateral damages of it.  
I've been hearing about it directly from the addicts themselves, their mothers and fathers, their siblings, peers, professionals along with reading anything I had time to read.   I recently got a chance to readChasing the Scream 

Grieving and Tidying . . .

If you have read any of my previous posts you know by now I'm a big fan of Marie Kondo's "Life changing magic of tidying up" best selling book.   Having gone through almost the entire process - only 'historical documents and photos' are left - but condensed to 2 totes. . . 
I want to encourage anyone male or female to try this process if you have had a significant loss or life transition in the last 5 years.  Some can handle it within 1-2 years of a loss - but most can't - but when you're 'ready' this process is probably one of the best strategies to do what will be 'life changing magic' in a very heart and soul warming way.


It cannot be under-estimated how many consider suicide as an option as a way to deal with a crappy day, disappointment, ongoing trials, or seemingly hopeless situations.  It is much more common than anyone probably believes - as once you're thinking about it - you tend to increase your isolation, stop reaching out and stay contained in your own world that stays 'bad' as long as you're drowning in it.      

Here are specific ways to help a person who had the courage to share or you had the courage to ASK if they were feeling - thinking - planning suicide:

Why "Tidying" is Life changing. . .

For those of you who know me personally the last year, many got a chance to actually witness the process of 'tidying' in my life.    Clients saw piles of boxes, neighbors saw bags of trash, strangers saw hauls to the recycling bins, and loved ones saw my physical place transform. 

I can't say enough about the entire process.  As a mental health professional I have to speak up about how it is truly a process that can help in very obvious ways to reduce stress, improve daily life routines, add time into your day for the more important activities, determine new directions, edit out 'noise' that is really in the way of success and is so visual that most can't help but say something positive.

Tidying 4 Months Later . . .

Like most reading about Marie Kondo's process - I was skeptical about how it would be 'life changing magic' - I was thinking it was going to be 'good enough'if I just reduced, simplified and created a home and office that I wasn't hating!     
Seriously, my 'place' was ugly.  No one ever said it out loud or directly but my place is probably one of the original buildings built on the 'Main Street' of my town.  The deed is for the 1850's.

Tidying in Overdrive! Komono Phase

Heads up - I would love to share photos of the actual process and took more than 100 but Vistaprint and Windows don't download photos easily. . . if you want to see photos I will be creating a PowerPoint with all the details next!

I'm now 80% completed withMarie Kondo'sprocess of Tidying - that's a BIG DEAL when you see how much is accomplished and how satisfying the process is.   

One thing you will discover as you proceed through each category is how you can't wait to get through to the

Life changing magic of tidying. . . continued

This is my8th weekend of tidying. . . I learned immediately that this process requires dedication, motivation and blocks of time that I can only find on the weekends.  It is also a messy process so you can't have the public strolling through, clients arriving or family interrupting with 'why are you throwingthat out??' or 'why are you doing that now. . . I'm going to let my kids do it after I die' . . . 

I decided after going through the heart wrenching, physically and emotionally draining experience of downsizing a parent after the death of another - that I would

"Too Much Stuff" and the Impact on Our Treatment of Our Seniors.

As I'm going through the process outlined by Marie Kondo I am definitely noticing my increase in reflection and insight.  I'm also finding myself curious about the differences between the culture and society of Japan and America.  The more I discard and place my objects of joy -I repeatedly get faced with the absolute absurdity of our culture regarding 'stuff'.   The reality of how making shopping a recreational sport is now packing people's closets, drawers, attics, basements and monthly rented storage units.
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